I want to continue talking about embracing and embodying Self Love, how to cultivate self-love…
Because your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
So freeing up your inner world from negativity, pain, and hurtful memories is essential to then filling it up with joy, peace, loving thoughts. Inner love becomes outer love (aka, self-respect!).
First maybe you need to ask yourself, what does Love mean to you anyways? What does it mean to love yourself more?
For me, it begins with sitting with my feelings, saying “no” when it doesn’t feel right with my soul, and doing things I love to do…even if it means doing it alone, honestly. It’s asking myself each day what can I do to feel more loving, how can I feel love?… and doing that for myself. Sometimes it's laying in and watching Netflix by myself and other nights it's taking myself out or meeting up with friends. Slowly building myself up with loving acts of kindness, really.
I think relationships are the most important and beautiful thing of being a human, as humans we NEED connection and we NEED to NOT be afraid to admit that. But for many of us, maybe we struggle to develop healthy relationships or long-lasting ones. I think this is why self-love is so important.
Because again, if our outer world is a reflection of our inner world, and we attract some pretty rough or unfavorable relationships.. What does that say about our relationship with ourselves?
I had a friend ask me that recently after a pretty rough experience of my own..it was like life literally kicked me in the gut and I was just hurting over someone who couldn’t love me.. and this was like a repeating experience for the last few people I was dating.
What DID that say about the way I love myself and the relationship I have with myself!?
A week later I had an energetic reading with my Reiki master and she asked me the same question.. funny how that works. She also asked me what success looks like for me…
Then said something absolutely incredible for me and my healing…
She said “Julie, I think the self love you need.. is to see that you are already successful. You already are doing the things you must do to become a successful business owner… I want you to look at all that you’ve accomplished and see that you are already doing it.”
As for love, she told me to use discernment…
In the name of self-love, let people show you who they are. If you’re like me, a good-hearted person, never intentionally hurting people, maybe just by mistake… you love to see the good in everyone because YOURE a good person…. So when you meet someone, you really like them before you even get to know them. Then they show you their true selves and you feel so down and out and hurt.
News flash, you are reflecting yourself. You like what you THINK they are…because that is who you are. So honor yourself with Self Love by taking your time getting to know people.. quiet down if youre a big talker, and let them talk. Let THEM tell you about themselves. And take time. I know I need to take that advice, so maybe me sharing it out loud will inspire me to do so.
And stop being so hard on yourself. If you’re comparing yourself to other people, or worrying about what they think of you, just… realize that’s your ego scaring you or something. If we were still like babies when something is out of your perception you don’t even remember it exists… that’s how other people would be for us. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Look at what you have accomplished. Keep striving, yes, but give yourself some damn credit. You already ARE that person who is doing amazing, incredible. Find someone who reflects that back. But let them show you who you really are before you believe that they’re just like you or perfect for you. Honestly, a lot of what I just said was what my reiki master Joanne said to me and it was amazingly helpful.
She was like “julie, look at all that you offer. All that you can do to help people. Be exactly who you are…the right people will come into your life…” and she said so much more. But now, I feel embodied in self-love. This morning when I took my morning jog, I was like wow, this is what it’s like to really feel full-bodied LOVE for myself. This feels amazing.
Okay how to embrace self love…
Number 1. Get your Self-Love on by thinking of five things you love about yourself
Self-love is what we need when we are guarded, hurt, exhausted, feeling empty. It’s also what we need when we’re feeling good…to CONTINUE to feel good. Never stop giving yourself love, its a forever journey, just like the love you are seeking from another person.
Always find things to love about yourself, especially on days that it’s hard.
It makes you more radiant. And attract better. When I give myself extra love, I notice my energy is lighter and I can see all of the love and beauty in others. So, get to complimenting yourself and become more confident and self-loving by complimenting yourself daily.
For example, I’ll say how I love my hips, my eyes, my booty. I think about how I love how naturally funny I am, how selfless and loving I am to others, kind, and I’m pretty damn smart.
There ARE things to love about yourself so, give yourself some damn love!
Number 2 for embodying self-love… you want to feel loving? Go compliment a stranger.
Tell them they’re beautiful and see them lighten up. If they get mad… idk that’s on them but try again.
Insulting and making fun of people is so low vibration. I really despise that. It reflects back to you, too. Like, when I was younger I used to get called fat, ugly, all of these mean names. Those people.. became that. I’m not joking. They had all gained weight. I learned something like your subconscious takes everything literally, so if you say “wow they're fat” it hears “I’m fat” and becomes that. Isn’t that strange? But good, teaches you a lesson about being mean to people. So, be careful what you think and say about others. Treat others the way you want to be treated right?
Don’t be a doormat though. Meaning, stand your ground and don’t get walked all over. Just don’t insult people, name-call, or be mean. Honestly I stopped with that, or at least I try to. I don’t like to tell people about themselves because I don’t like it done to me. So when I’ve experienced arguments in the last so many months, I don’t insult. I say how I FEEL and honestly, I could always feel that they felt well.. dumb. So anyways. Don’t insult people, spread love to bring in more love.
Complimenting people is like embodying love for free. And you make someone’s day. You don’t know it, but that stranger needed to hear it.
There was a day when I was just feeling so down about myself. Worthless. Ugly. All of this crap. And one day three beautiful people told me I’m beautiful and my bartender paid for my drink, another for my whole meal. I was like what?!?!?! My whole vibration was lifted. I mean, I was going through a pretty rough time… but for the time being, I felt great.
Number three Ask yourself how you can make yourself FEEL better
This is where self-love and self-care kind of go hand in hand because you want to do things that make you actually feel good and better about yourself and that’s the fun part. Eating well, going to a spa, getting your nails or hair done, massages, reiki, working out, all of those things should be done because you LOVE yourself and they make you feel happy, better, vibrant. When you DO the things you love for yourself (self-care) you FEEL better (self-love).
Sit in front of a mirror naked and compliment yourself. See the beauty in your body and what it does for you. That’s one way I like to make myself feel better, honestly. Say nice things to yourself… which goes back to Number 1 thinking of the things you love about yourself… and if you struggle with that, think of how you WANT to feel. I want to believe I am beautiful… so start saying that. “ I am beautiful” “I CHOOSE to believe I am beautiful.” Keep saying it over And over each day until you believe it…because it works. What do you have to lose by trying ?
Honestly, unless someone is an insecure A-Hole, no one is really looking at your flaws. Only you. So don’t let your flaws get in the way of believing you're beautiful and full of beauty. Love your flaws, even a little. Become confident within and feel love within by embracing who you are.. flaws and all.
And take stock of all that you have done to get yourself here today. There is so much to be grateful for and to give yourself credit for. If you practice gratitude everyday, starting coming home with it and see how you can acknowledge what you’ve done for yourself. Acknowledge who YOU are as a successful human being, a loving, kind, beautiful and WORTHY being. No matter where you are, how far you have to do, look at how far you’ve already come. And don’t give up!
I want to end this with a couple questions… I’d like for you to write these questions down, then answer them in a journal. Doesn’t matter how long or short the answers are, just answer them.
What do YOU find fun and exciting?
What does LOVE mean to you?
What does it mean to LOVE yourself [more]?
I hope you found this helpful. If you did, please screenshot and tag @feelsoulwell on instagram, share with someone you think will find it helpful, and help me grow by subscribing to my show.
Hope you feel soul well everyone. Practice self-love today and every day. Stay tune for more.